Currently on the Palette

currently reading:
The Last Juror by John Grisham
Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot
The CoffeeHouse Gospel by Matthew Paul Turner
I Peter

currently listening to:
Blackeyed Peas
Coldplay
Javier
Jason Mraz
Mariah Carey
David Crowder

Lessons From A Horse Named Haley

Last week, I looked up (literally) my horse trainer from several years ago. She has since moved to the other side of my county about 45 minutes from where I live. I went out to her new farm just to say "hey" and catch up, as it had been almost 3 years since I'd seen her. When I pulled up to the barn, she was in the middle of teaching a lesson to 10-12 middle-school age kids. We talked for a few minutes and set up a time for me to go back out this week. I went back on Wednesday after work to ride and interview her and her daughter (as it turns out she was looking for someone to write an article about her daughter to be in some horse publications and local newspapers). After the interview I found the horse that she wanted me to "work out". In reality, the horse would give me a work-out! For the past 2 days since riding, I have had sore muscles that I didn't even know I had! It was a lot of fun though, I was able to do some jumping patterns and just enjoy riding, something I haven't had the opportunity to do in quite a while.

So the horse that I rode was named Haley. Haley was very strong-willed. She wanted to run the whole time, and after I had been riding for a while she started bucking and trying to throw me off. Believe it or not, I really enjoyed riding her, despite her flaws. So as I was riding along, figthing and pulling the reigns trying to gain control of this 1,500 lb animal, I couldn't help but think about how she and I were so very much alike.

Haley didn't want me to control where we went and what we did. She wanted to decide. When I wanted to walk, she tried to run. When I wanted to speed up, she'd slow down. How often do I treat God this way? I try to control my own life. I make plans and go about them, paying no attention to where my master is leading me.

A properly trained horse doesn't require to be kicked very hard to understand what the rider wants it to do. In fact, a good horse only needs a slight brush of the leg, or even merely a vocal command. I think that God gets tired of "kicking" us into submission. If only we would respond to His voice or even His gentle nudges we would avoid so much discomfort and pain.

The mid-nineties movie The Horse Whisperer has always seemed to me a very clear illustration of the redemption and restoration we find in Christ. The horse had been severly wounded...physically, mentally, and spiritually (so to speak). To many he seemed beyond repair, worthless, and deserving of death. Throughout the movie, there are several scenes in which the horse trainer exhibits the character of Christ. He waits patiently for the horse to respond to him, he brings healing to his wounds and restores his purpose. The final scene of the movie clearly depicts the horse choosing to surrender his will and through that surrender gaining peace, joy and purpose.

I was reading this week in Elizabeth Elliot's book Passion and Purity, she says this of surrender:

"Wen the will of God crosses the will of man, somebody has to die...life requires countless 'little deaths' - occasions when we are given the chance to say no to self and yest to God...Surrender does not mean that everything about ourselves is evil. It is a choice to lay down everything - the good and the bad - for the love of God...We die in order to live".

May we respond to His nudges. May we understand that only in surrender, only in death, can we experience healing, redemption, and restoration.

Random Thought #178543

I've got a BIG secret!

Chinese Take-Out

Something that I have really come to love over the past few years is Chinese food. I think I could eat chinese food almost every day and not get sick of it. Sesame chicken is, by far, my favorite, but I can settle for other selections of the americanized version of chinese (I can't help but wonder what people in China actually eat!). So as I drove back to my office today with my nifty chinese take-out container I began to think about some of my Chinese food buddies. My best friends Jennifer and Megan and I have a tradition of going out to eat Chinese food everytime I am home. I have also gotten Chinese take-out with my brother, Patrick, a time or two. At school, there is...well there was...Jes and Heather. I guess now it'll just be Heather and me as Jes has moved on to a "real" college, as I like to call educational institutions that have a student population of over 2,000.

Today was Chicken w/ broccoli and an egg roll. Good choice. After I ate the main course, I moved on to dessert: the complimentary, wraped-in-plastic, fortune cookie. I've never really understood the fascination with fortune cookies. They are stale and tasteless and have a piece of paper in the middle. Beats me!

Today, my fortune read, "A pleasant surprise is waiting for you". That's exciting. Maybe I'll meet the woman of my dreams, maybe I'll win a new car, maybe I'll find a ten dollar bill in my jeans when I do laundry tonight. Surprises make me smile, no matter how big or small or seemingly insignificant. However, the whole idea of things being unexpected is a little bit scary.

he Bible teaches on this a little.

James 4:14
"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."

We never know what tomorrow holds. Tomorrow could be the day I meet my wife, or it could be the day I meet my maker. We should live each day as if it were our last on this earth, striving to make a difference in whatever way we can showing Christ's love to all.

Life's a journey...proceed with passion!

How Are You Defined?

At some point last weekend, my mom asked my dad and I this question: "Are you defined by what you do?" Good question. My mom has a habit of engaging our family in very deep and philosophical conversations. I'm not sure if I know what I think about my mom's question. I guess my answer would have to be "sort of", which I know is a very easy, safe, middle-of-the-road answer. I definitely think that other people's perceptions of who we are is very much molded by what we do, our actions and activities. However, I think that the very essence of who we are, the core of our identity is not even something that can be physically measured or determined. I think that who we are will be revealed by our actions; however, not neccessarily in what we do, but how we do.

How does this affect me?

I am a college student. But how do I do college? Well, I'm a slacker. I procrastinate, and do the least amount of work neccessary for me to keep my scholarships. I only read about 1/4 of the reading required of me; again only that which is neccessary to make the grade. You may be thinking "that's completely normal", I know. I have entertained those thoughts in pursuit of some sort of apathetic justification of my actions. Do I want to be defined as "completely normal"? Do you?

I am a son. I am a brother. I am a grandson. I am a singer. I am a writer. I am a friend. I am a leader. I am a Christ follower. I work at a newspaper. I sing on a worship team. I listen to music constantly.

How do I do all of these things? Well to be quite frank, for quite a while I've been doing everything rather half-you know what. I don't want to be defined as normal. I don't want to be defined as good. I want to be defined as someone who does everything with passionate excellence.

May I live a life worthy of the calling I have recieved.

Just a few "random thoughts"!

New Cell Phone

Good news: I finally got a new cell phone this weekend

Bad news: I don't have anyone's numbers

So.......Shoot me your digits!

Some Really Old Pics

Since I have access to a scanner at my office, I decided to post a few pictures from the end of the semester. I really think that the last few weeks of this past semester were some of the best of my life. I had so much fun and made many memories to be cherished for a lifetime. I miss my friends from school a whole lot, especially since I still have no cell phone and therefore, no communication!

Me and some of my girls went to G-ville for Laura's B-day and to celebrate the end of the semester (Heather, Christy, Jes, Me, Laura)

Me and one of my best friends Jes at the RA Banquet

Melissa and Me at Freedom's Hill Church before the Formal

My friend Melissa was my date to this year's Jr/Sr Spring Formal

My friend Ashley and Me at the Spring Formal

"Goochland Gazette, this is Brett"

So I am nearing the completion of my first week on the job. I started a "sort of" internship this week with a local newspaper. I am serving as an editing assistant and I also do alot of random office tasks. One of these seemingly meaningless tasks is answering the phone. I couldn't even count how many times I've said, "Goochland Gazette, this is Brett" over the past week. I'm really excited about this expereince; I think that it will be beneficial to me in the future.

I lost my cell phone this week so I have been barren of all contact with the outside world for the past several days...it really sucks! So guess what I get to spend my first pay check on...you guessed it...a new cell phone. I'm going to go this afternoon or sometime this weekend to check out my options. I'm not overly thrilled with the idea of wasting my time or money in the Verizon store. Every time I have ever been in there I am treated with such disrespect and rudeness that it pains me just to think about my upcoming venture.

So I have unofficially dubbed this summer as "Extreme Makeover: Brett Edition". I am really trying to focus on myself...spiritually, emotionally, and physically this summer...not that I've ever had a problem focusing on myself! But I am really trying to make some improvements in each of these areas this summer. I'll keep you updated on the successes and failures throughout the summer.

Pray for me this weekend as I will be leading worship at my church. I'm really excited about this opprotunity and want to make sure that I am in the right place spiritually to lead the body of Christ in worship.

New Music Tuesday: Jazz Meets R&B

Soulful vocals have always put a smile on my face. There's just something about a musician who can really singthat excites me. In our pop-culture so many artists are given status who couldn't win a high- school talent show if their life depended on it. Because of this lack of talent in mainstream music, it is incredibly refreshing to discover smooth vocals coupled with quality music.

A few weeks ago, I was browsing the music section at the local Barnes & Noble. With a chai late' in hand, I put on the headphones that had no-doubt been used by hundreds of people before me. Now, I'm not one to share drinks or even wear someone else's clothes, but for some reason these communal headphones don't seem to bother me. So I started scanning a few CDs and went about my "listening to new music" routine: I listen to about 20 seconds of each song and if it sounds promising I'll stay connected through the chorus. After about 4 CDs with little to no redeeming features, I stumbled (figuratively) upon Amos Lee's self-titled debut album.

Amos Lee sings very real, intimate lyrics with great passion and conviction. His voice is so smooth and soulful and penetrates the thick layers of impersonalization that we so often build up around us. The album is an intimate look into the life of an artist. Themes of love, lonliness, friendship, and city life prevail throughout the album. The music is primarily guitar and piano providing both soothing ballads and more upbeat jazz/R&B songs. Lee has been described as the male version of Norah Jones, and even though there are several stylistic similarities, Lee's sound is fresh, individual, and unique.

Here are a few lines from the album. All lyrics written by Amos Lee.

"Some times we forget what we got, who we are and who we are not

I think we got a chance to make it right-Keep it loose, Keep it tight"

"Who’s bold enough to believeIn either love or war Both just leave you busted, and broken down, and wanting more"

"Nothing is more powerful than beauty in a wicked world"

"I see the trouble and all the loving that I’ve doneAnd the world ain’t no harder than it’s ever beenLooking for love in the lies of a lonely friend"

Check it out!

Holy Spirit Gatorade

So I've been home for a whole week now and yes, I have failed to keep up with blogging like I intended. FYI the past couple posts were a part of a short story I wrote in my creative writing class this past semester. No...those things didn't actually happen to me!

Coming home is always such a wonderful thing. I miss my friends from school terribly, but its so great to come home to such a relaxing atmosphere and to parents who love me unconditionally...just for being me! I have really enjoyed going to school away from home for many reasons, one of which is the break from being a PK (pastor's kid) - there are so many extra stresses and obligations that come with being in a pastor's family. I've also enjoyed going to a different church than my dad's - while in S.C. I attend Newspring in Aderson. The Lord has really used Newspring to minister to me and bless my life in numerous ways. I am so thankful to have a home church away from home.

So yesterday it was back to my home church, Hanover Friends. Honestly, I was a little nervous about coming back. The music is...well different from Newspring's and its a little different to listen to my Dad's sermons rather than Perry's. But as I sat next to my mom in the pew and looked around at many new faces I couldn't help but see a beautiful picture of the body of Christ. Our church has about 300 regular attenders...I guess that's average. We have grown quite a bit in the past year and I can definitely see God moving among the people here. I am very excited about being a part of this "body" for a few months.

My parents left today for KS, which means that I'm home alone! I'm excited about this week. Pray for me that I will fill my time with things that are benificial to me and not harmful. Temptations seem to gain strength when I'm alone. I'm feeling really strong, spiritually, right now. I've spent a little more time than usual in prayer and worship the past few days, and I can definitely feel a difference. It amazes me how I find time for so many meaningless and trivial things and yet fail to take the time to connect with the lover of my soul.

I think my spiritual life is a lot like the Gatorade commercial. I attempt to quench my thirst with water or soda (things of the world), but it does not satisfy. I desire to gulp some holy spirit Gatorade, so overwhelming that it overflows and pours out of me and comes out of my pores. I'm so thankful for a renewed thirst.

Day Two: A Little Sexual Frustration

It’s another beautiful night to stay in a hotel, but of course any night would be. There’s nothing more comforting to me than the retro seventies décor of a cheap hotel room. I guess it would be somewhat understandable if this were intentional; if there were some reasoning behind the lime green comforter and the burnt-orange, shag carpet, but rarely do hotels with a number in their name have any sort of aversion to faupas such as these. You would think with such an influential and world-changing job, I would be staying in a deluxe suite in some high rise luxury hotel. Oh no, not me. I prefer the grassroots, simple life version of a Saturday stay-over.

So I’m all alone in my hotel room, the smell of dust and bathroom cleaner linger in the air and my face involuntarily scrunches in disgust. I have come to the place of decision. To go out or stay in, that is the question. I settle on the latter, to go out would require more meaningless conversation and I am not up to the task. Here is where the real problem is revealed; alone in a hotel room - just me, 46 channels and a Gideon Bible. How does the saying go? Boredom is the root of all evil, or something like that. I decide to do what any single, thirty-something male in a hotel room would do. No, not that. I turn on the television and look for a good, light-hearted, chick flick. You know, the kind of movie you always want to watch, but are too embarrassed to admit to it. Sleepless in Seattle is playing on TBS. Meg Ryan, what a dream. I don’t think I’ll ever comprehend why the producers of the movie chose Tom Hanks over me.

There’s just something about Meg Ryan. She reminds me of my third grade teacher, Miss Parker, which makes the fact that I think Meg Ryan is incredibly sexy somewhat disturbing. Granted, Miss Parker had brown hair as opposed to Meg’s golden blonde hair, but other than that they are really quite similar. Of course now that I’m thinking about Meg, my mind wanders to the greatest novel of all time, Little Women. I think I could read Little Women a million times and never loose the emotion of Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy. Every time Beth dies, I can’t help but cry, even though I know its coming.

Ok, so by now I’m sure you are thinking, “What’s wrong with this guy? He watches chick flicks and reads books like Little Women.” But before you get judgmental, consider this. Since when does it make a man less of a man if he is sensitive and can appreciate love and beauty? I’ve never understood why our society has allowed men to become so plastic, so emotionless and disconnected from their own selves. We value a man’s ability to be wild and rugged and play contact sports more than his ability to love or be loved. There are thousands of very talented young men working behind their computers in their cubicle who have very attractive outsides, but in reality, they are rotting away. I am one of these. I am in the ranks of a generation of pretty boys who are so dazed and confused by the messages of society that we are so desperate to sell out to something, anything.

The lights in my room are dark; the only light still present is that radiating off of Meg Ryan’s pretty little face. I turn off the television and close my eyes with only one thought in my head. What’s so special about Tom Hanks?

Day One: A Window Seat and Airplane Friends

It’s another beautiful day for business travel, but of course any day would be. The horribly replicated image of a seatbelt and the internationally recognized “No Smoking” sign are illuminated directly overhead. The sun is beating through the window and I am starting to sweat-not enough to cause distinguishable odor or stains under my arms, but enough to be uncomfortable. I am not one to be fooled by the romantic notion of a window seat. In fact, I hate them. I’ve hated them for a while now. The last time I was forced to give up my emergency exit row, aisle seat, 16C, I developed my theory. You see, there is not one thing that is universally accepted as the defining characteristic of an adult. Some say its age, but even still there is debate: 18 or 21? Some say its responsibility. You know...job, bills, house...all of the things we hate about being adults. So I decided that the only hold-fast way to tell if someone is an adult is their airplane seat preference. You see, kids love window seats; they get some sort of excitement out of watching the brownish-green colored earth pass below. An adult, on the other hand, prefers space over entertainment. If you’ve seen one take-off or landing, you’ve seen them all. So needless to say, my theory hasn’t caught on with the general public as of yet...I’m not holding my breath.

So I’m flying high over the armpit of the US, some middle-of-nowhere hell-whole in east Texas. Since I have to suffer the window seat, It would makes sense that I might as well take in some of the view, except, there is no view. So I’m stuck in the heat of the sun, sitting in a window seat with nothing to look at (someone must’ve stolen the complimentary airliner magazine). With all resources exhausted, I turn to my neighbor, 26B, and engage in some sort of meaningless conversation that neither he nor I really want have, and yet, we do. Airplane friends are such a phenomenon. We have next to nothing in common but we have been destined to spend the next few hours with each other. Our conversation goes something like this, “Hello 26B, I’m 26A. Where are you headed?”

“Oh, to some nowhere place that has to do with my nothing job”, 26B replies with a sort of imitation interest.

“Me too!” With these words, I’ve just offered our first commonality. Maybe our connection will be deeper than the routine, surface-level interactions that we engage in everyday. Maybe not.

“So what do you do?” 26B asks, attempting to keep the momentum going. I cringe when I hear these words. “What do you do?” as if explaining my job to someone will actually help them understand me as a person. Once before, when I was talking to another airplane friend, I asked them the question, “Who are you?” rather than “What do you do?”, and he couldn’t answer without talking about his job. I would like to know when what we do from nine to five starting dictating who we are as a person.

Who am I? That’s an easy question. I’m 26A, a baby-boomer and marketing executive. I’ve bought into the commercialism and materialism of our culture. I have 7 pairs of designer jeans, 4 pairs of khakis, 5 million polo shirts, 2 kids, and a dog...minus the kids. I am the quintessence of ideal. I live in an ideal city in an ideal apartment where I watch my ideal plasma screen while sitting in ideal IKEA furniture. I work at an ideal company doing ideal things...and I hate it. I’ve lost all sense of individuality and have become a carbon copy of the man who works in the cubicle next to me.

My conversation with 26B is unfortunately not turning into a deep, meaningful connection. These conversations rarely do. I am listening and speaking, yet my mind is somewhere else. Suddenly it hits me; 26B and I really are the same. We’re all the same. We’re a generation of pansies. We hide behind brand names and computer screens. We are afraid of being who we really are. We share the same meaningless existence and I can’t help but think, “There’s got to be more”.

The tires of the Boeing 737 screech as they hit the pavement. We have arrived at our nowhere place and must now go about our nothing jobs. Or do we? I say goodbye to 26B as I enter the crowd of people in the terminal with only one thought in my head. I sure hope I don’t have to sit in a window seat on my return flight.

"She Loves Me"

One of the things that has kept me busy this semester was the musical production of "She Loves Me". The plot features employees who unknowingly correspond with each other through a lonely hearts service. The musical is based on the 1940’s movie, “The Shop Around the Corner,” starring Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullavan. This story was the basis for the 1998 film “You’ve Got Mail" starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. I was cast as Georg Nowak, the male lead role. This was my first leading role, so naturally, I was rather nervous. A good friend of mine, Heather Clifton, played opposite me in the female lead role. The whole cast was incredibly talented, and It truly was the experience of a lifetime. I am so thankful to have had this opportunity. I have posted some pictures from the production below.

Jasmyn Byrd and Michael Wooten played two of my co-workers. I really enjoyed working with these talented individuals.

My character, Georg Nowak, is a clerk at a cosmetics store. Here my boss, played by Scott Bryson, is teaching me how to dance.