Fall Playlist

A few days ago, my friend Candice blogged a list of wonderful songs for the fall season. She inspired me to make my own list.

For the past 4 years, I have made a mix every summer and listen to it all summer long. When I read her post I thought, "Why not every season?"...SO, the plan is to make a compilation every season from now on.

I have to admit that I stole some artist and/or song ideas from Candice...what can I say? If you have good taste, people want to copy you. And if anyone has good taste/style, it's Candice!


So here it is:

Neon...John Mayer
The City...Milosh
How We Operate...Gomez
Waiting Line...Zero 7
Walnut Tree...Keane
I Don't Trust Myself...John Mayer
Nowhere Warm...Kate Havnevik
Strange and Beautiful...Aqualung
Somersault...Zero 7
I Drive Alone...Esthero
Chasing Cars...Snow Patrol
Against All Odds...Postal Service
Hopeless...Train
Colors...Amos Lee
Cannonball...Damien Rice
How to Save a Life...The Fray
Nos Da Cariad...David Gray
Let Go...Frou Frou
Grace....Kate Havnevik
The Scientist...Coldplay

I have a silly habit of thinking about my life like a movie. Sometimes I hear a song and think...that song should be on the soundtrack to my life. These are just a few of those songs.

"Unashamed"

Here are the lyrics to a song that really spoke to me this morning.


"Unashamed"
by Starfield

I have not much to offer You,
Not near what you deserve
But still I come because Your cross
has placed in me my worth

I kow I'm weak,
I know I'm unworthy
to call upon Your name
But because of grace,
because of Your mercy,
I stand here unashamed

Oh, Christ, My King of sympathy
Whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends to call me friend
Your mercy sets me free

I know I'm weak,
I know I'm unworthy
to call upon Your name
But because of grace,
because of Your mercy,
I stand here unashamed

I can't explain this kind of love
I'm humbled and amazed
that You'd come down from heaven's heights
and greet me face to face

I know I'm weak,
I know I'm unworthy
to call upon Your name
But because of grace,
because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

Here I am,
at Your feet
In my brokeness complete

The Mudpie

The Mudpie
Originally uploaded by random thoughts photography.

This photo of mine was chosen to be in the Schmap Chattanooga Guide. I had never heard of this before, but apparently several cities have this sort of online map and listing of places to be.

I think it's kind of neat to have one of my pictures chosen for something like this, even though there was no benefit to me, it's still pretty cool.

They did however, provide me with a link that I have put on my sidebar that allows my readers to download the Schmap guides...check 'em out, they're kind of cool!

Weekend Update...

Yellow Jacket
Originally uploaded by random thoughts photography.

This is a picture from my weekend in North Carolina with Jes.

Check out the rest of them here. There are only a few and most are from our trip to visit the North Carolina Zoo in Asheboro.

I had such an amazing time with Jes and her parents. I was so much looking forward to being able to spend some more time with Jes' parents and get to know them a little bit better. They are such amazing people, and I have been amazed at how willingly they accept me and have really been encouraging of our relationship. I really feel like I have a second home now in North Carolina.

This weekend, we had such a wonderful time enjoying each other and just some simple things together. We played tennis, went running, went to the Zoo, had some wonderful meals, played Catch Phrase, watched a movie, and just enjoyed being able to be together.

Today was such a great day, despite my major Jes withdrawls. I have such a renewed sense of thankfulness and joy and a strong trust in God.

A year ago, this weekend, I came home and decided to transfer from Southern Wesleyan. It is such a huge blessing to be able to look back on the past year and so clearly see God's hand guiding me to where I am now. I have never been one to appreciate the procees that leads to a result...I'm a huge instant gratification person. BUT, God has given me such a huge thankfulness for the process and the season of growth that He has brought me through in the past year. He is so good. His ways are higher than our ways, and even when I don't understand and the process is hard, I trust that He has a purpose and a plan. I trust that He has a purpose for every season, every trial, every hardship, every good day and every hard day.

ROAD TRIP!

Today's the big day...I am leaving in a few short hours to visit Jes for the weekend. I'm beyond excited.

On my way out of town I'm going to splurge and buy two....maybe three CD's for my road trip.

John Mayer and the Grey's Anatomy Soundtrack are definites.

Beyonce' and Justin are maybes.

I'll post about the music and my trip when I get back.

Have a great weekend!

Random dates I'm looking forward to...

Grey's Anatomy season premiere.......Thursday, Spetember 21

Gilmore Girls season premiere.......Tuesday, September 26

and most exiting....

I GET TO SEE JES IN 3 DAYS!!!

5 years later...

Since today is the 5th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, I thought I would share my memories from that day...

It was my junior year in high school. I was participating in a program called "elementary mentorship" in which a group of students went to the local elementary school 2 or 3 times a week to work in a classroom. I worked with a 1st grade teacher named Susan. Susan and I had already bonded, even though it was still the beginning of the school year.

I can remember that I was helping a student with his reading journal when Susan called me over to her desk. She told me what had happened and we sat behind her desk with a small hand-held radio up to our ears trying to hear the latest updates. This was inbetween the 2nd plane hitting the World Trade Center and the crash into the Pentagon. I remember being very confused and not really realizing what was going on.

The elementary school administration did not allow any television that day and so many of the visual images that people have of the events of that morning I did not see until later.

When I got in the car with a few other students to drive back to our high school, neither one of them had heard about the attacks, so I told them about it. By the time we got back to our school, many teachers were not allowing students to watch the news reports, and so I wasn't able to see anything until that night. My parents were out of town, and I can remember feeling very unsettled.

So many people had such devastating hours that day. If you haven't seen the World Trade Center movie, go see it. It is a great look into the personal lives of two Port Authority officers who were trapped under the rubble and their experience of that day.

Here we are, 5 years later, wrapped up in a war caused to some extent by the events of that day. May we continue to support our country and our troops. No matter your political leaning, on this day, lets all join together in remembrance of what our country lost and the freedom that has been given to us.

What are your memories from that morning?

Random Thought for the day...Just say no to drugs!

Drug Store - Color
Originally uploaded by random thoughts photography.

Transitions

Before my friend Jennifer moved to South Carolina earlier this summer, we made a sort of "demo" CD together of a few songs that we had written, I still haven't heard the CD, and it was meant just as a keepsake because Jenn has been my "singing buddy" since my junior year of high school. She and I have shared lots of fun times working out harmonies, sharing special music, and leading worship together.

Today was the first Sunday of having a new vocalist singing with the band since going through a major transition the past few months. Not only did Jennifer move away, but two other vocalists have stepped down, one several months ago, and one very recently ( who was also our keyboard player!). It has been a major challenge as I have had to really emerge myself into the leadership of the band, which, to be completely honest, is not where I feel most comfortable. For the past several weeks, I have been the only vocalist and also playing either guitar or keyboard during the sets....way out of my comfort zone. I was telling Jes the other day, that I would feel most comfortable being in the background, singing harmony with none of the added responsibility of leadership. But God is not in the business of keeping us where we are most comfortable.

This has all been such a learning experience. I have learned that I rely too much on my own ability and strength. I have learned that God IS faithful and will supply ALL of my needs. I have learned what it means to trust...even when it looks impossible and I am overwhelmed by the situation. I have learned that I am my own biggest distraction. I have had to look and listen past my faults and realize that HE is worthy of my worship NO MATTER WHAT!

Today was one of the first times in a while that I have been able to enter into worship myself during a service. I felt like God was pleased with my worship even though I felt so inadequate and unworthy to be leading worship. It definitely helped having another worshipper standing next to me.

Here are the lyrics to one of the songs that Jenn and I recorded. The Lord constantly uses these words to convict me and draw me closer. Allow the Lord to speak to your heart today. I know I desperately need to hear His voice.

"I Repent"

I repent, I repent
I turn and walk away from all I knew before
I repent, I repent
I'm feeling like a little child once again

You open my eyes to all my sin
You know all my faults, still you call me Your friend
You are all I'll ever need
Only in You am I complete

Set my heart on You
Jesus, set my heart on You

Another Picture from Labor Day Weekend

Jes and Me in front of the fire place
Originally uploaded by random thoughts photography.

Arise and Be Comforted

I added a new song to my myspace profile today. I try to change my song every few days, trying to capture the mood that I am in. I put up Watermark's "Arise and Be Comforted" from their A Grateful People album. The album is a collection of great live worship featuring Nathan and Christy Nockles of Watermark with special appearances by Chris Tomlin, Shane and Shane, and Charlie Hall. It truly is one of the best worship albums I've heard in a while and sadly it will be the last Watermark album. Raw and passionate vocals are found throughout. In my opinon, Christy Nockles has one of the best voices in the Christian music industry and is definitely a gifted worship leader.

The Lord has truly used this song to speak to my heart lately. One night when Jes and I were talking, she felt the Lord urging her to tell me that God was telling me to "arise". It just so happens that God had been singing this song in my spirit all week that week.

I think a very harsh and sad reality is that so often we get bogged down in the mundane and/or trivial aspects of life that we feel too overwhelmed to even seek the face of God. This song speaks to the cry of every human's heart...to be comforted. Also, it so simply expresses the goodness and tender mercies of the Lord.

Arise and Be Comforted

----------------------------------

by Nathan and Christy Nockles

----------------------------------

Arise and be comforted

For the Lord, He is good to the weary

And even the young heart can tire and fall

But He knows them all

For the Lord, He will renew their strength

And they will soar on wings as eagles

And they will run and never grow weary

They will walk and not grow faint

For the Lord, He is good

-----------------------------------

Lift your eyes to the heavens

For the creator is living in you

Come surrender as you are

And know that you’ll never stray too far

Let His power within you heal your heart

Lift your eyes to spacious skies

Let Him chart your way to flight

Spread your wings and fly

For the Lord, He is good

"Survivor" uses racial divisions to gain ratings

I'm not sure if you've heard about it, but the CBS reality TV show, "Survivor" added a new twist this season. They are dividing the tribes into four ethnic groupings - black, white, Asain, and Hispanic. I wrote an article about it for one of my Journalism classes....i'm posting it below. What's your opinion on the whole thing?

“Survivor” divides at home too
by Brett Crisp

RICHMNOND, VA - There is a storm brewing in the Cook Islands of the South Pacific. CBS reality show “Survivor: Cook Islands” fresh with a new twist and already causing quite a stir, is scheduled to hit U.S. airwaves Thursday, September 14.

Starting its 13th season, the reality show cast a more ethnically diverse group of contestants. According to an Associated Press release, the 20 individuals, called castaways on the show, will be divided into four tribes according to ethnicity – Hispanic, black, white, and Asian.

Jeff Probst, host of the show and a main voice in promotions for the new season, recognizes the potential of the new twist.

“It’s very risky business because you’re bringing up a topic that is a hot button,” said Probst to the AP service for young readers.

According to an MSNBC online poll, Probst was right in his prediction that the show is hitting a touchy subject this season. The poll responses are divided nearly equally as to whether the new twist is a good or a bad idea.

VCU’s response to “Survivor” ‘s new racial focus is also divided.

“I think it’s a bad idea, because that’s just racism,” said freshman Jenny Vo.

Senior Nicole Ballou agrees. “We spend so much time trying to be united as a nation and that [the new twist] is going against everything we’ve tried to do,” she said.

Other students are supporting the show’s decision.

“I think it’s a really good idea. The ratings are going to go up,” said sophomore Natascha Williams.

“I don’t think people should read so much into it, it’s just a game,” said senior Chanel Call.

Assistant Professor of Mass Communications, Dr. Lynn Owens agrees with Probst that this is a risky ploy. “It’s going to be tricky business for the producers,” she said.

Owens also thinks that the primary danger in the show’s focus on race is stereotyping.

“It’s going to be difficult not to highlight stereotypes,” said Owens.

With voices on both sides of the coin, the only thing that is certain is that a show that has not been in the spotlight for a while has garnered attention once again. Whether the attention will help or hurt the show is yet to be determined.

Here we go again...

So here's to another attempt to actually write on this thing. It seems that after I no longer had my faithful blogging friend, Candice, around to inspire me to update regularly that I have been a major blogging failure.

This past weekend, my brother Patrick and his wife Jana came home to visit. I found out when they got here that they had started their own blog and this caused me to start thinking about starting to write down some random thoughts once again for the reading pleasure of...well probably no one.

Jes was also here this weekend, as I guess you can tell by the picture. On Sunday, I decided to take her to the University of Richmond campus and walk around. We took a few pics while we were there. Check them out on my Flickr site. The one here was just of us being goofy. For some reason, Jes really likes my dramatic facial expressions!

All in all it was a great weekend. I am very thankful for my family and my incredibly gorgeous girlfriend. The Lord has truly blessed my life.

Look back for updates...hopefully it will stick this time.

Rollin' in Snowflakes and Paint

My weekend can be summed up by those two words. Yes, winter finally graced us with its presence and with it came about 3 inches of beautifully white snow. The snowflakes started to dust the ground just as I was heading home from work on Saturday evening(It always amuses me to observe how ridiculously cautious people drive when there is not even an inch of snow on the ground...I guess it goes hand in hand with the automatic trip to the grocery store to stock up on bread and milk!). Unfortunately, I was a little to preoccupied to fully appreciate the snowfall as much as I typically would. This weekend I took upon myself the task of moving out of my room and into my brother's old room. Clearly this also involved painting because my brother and I have rather differing opinions on...well almost everything!

So I turned on the Opening Ceremony to the Olympics and went to rolling. Around midnight, I let my dog outside...she went crazy. She was running around and rolling all over the back yard as if she should've been representing the US at the winter Olympics. As I was watching her so freely enjoy the moment, I thought that there was no reason why I shouldn't be enjoying the snow as much as she was. So I found some snow clothes and ran out to join my dog in the yard. We rolled around together and I threw snowballs at her. We even made a snowman together....well I did most of the work, but she was really motivating on the sidelines. I found myself gaining the greatest joy out of something so simple like snow. At one point, I just laid out in the middle of the yard and looked up at the stars and in that moment it seemed as if God had sent the snow just for me.

Sidenote...
Worship was wonderful this week. God met us in a very fresh, genuine way. I'm so excited about what God is doing in and through the worship band.

This week's set list:
Blessed Be Your Name
Famous One
You're Worthy of My Praise
Beautiful One
Potter's Hand

What am I up to?

After my last post, I felt as if there was still much to say about where my life is at present. As previously mentioned, I am now attending Virginia Commonwealth University, which is located in downtown Richmond, VA. It has been wonderful so far. I love being in the city, surrounded by tall buildings, and just having so many different types of people with which to interact. I am starting out as a Mass Communications major with my concentration being in Print Journalism. I am thinking of adding Creative Advertising or Public Relations/Marketing as an aditional concentration next semester.

I have only a few non-major classes that I still needed after transferring, and I am taking most of these this semester along with a few Communications classes. I absolutely love my comm. classes, but I haven't gotten overly excited about the others. It's just one semester....I'll survive. One challenge to adjusting to a larger school is going to be keeping myself accountable to attend my classes....especially those that aren't too much fun. It's just so different to not be required to attend class....it has to be my choice. I think that it is odd that I am learning more about responsibility and accountability at my extremely liberal, state school than I ever did at Southern.

In addition to my classes, I started working at a bookstore near campus. I have only been there for about a week, but so far I love it. The store is a christian store, but not like any typical christian bookstore I have ever been in before. The atmosphere is very casual and urban. My co-workers are great and the majority are in their early twenties...it's wonderful to be working with like-minded people that are my peers. Hopefully some lasting frienships will be built at the store.

Also since moving back to Richmond, I have taken upon myself the role of worship leader at my church. I really would have never expected to be doing this, especially now. In fact, when I came home, I wasn't even sure if I was going to continue attending my home church or find something new. After praying about it for quite a while, I knew that I was supposed to stay there. Shortly after I got home it became clear that the worship team was going through a very dry season, and I was asked to take the lead. It has been incredible so far. I have been able to bring some new ideas and vision from my experiences over the past few years of being away, and some very positive changes have been made. It is wonderful to be participating in worshiop ministry again. I feel so at home when I am singing and leading the body of Christ into worship.

I am very excited about this new season in my life. I am amazed at how faithful and forgiving God has been to me. He has given me the desires of my heart...desires that I didn't even know I held.

My Own Prison

As I begin my first post in an extremely long amount of time, I wonder if anyone will even read this. I have decided that even if no one reads what I post on here, that it is still important for me to write. This first post will be an attempt to update any readers of the on-goings in my life.

Since my last post, I have transferred schools. I am now a proud student of Virginia Commonwealth University, located in downtown Richmond, Virginia. The reasons for this change are countless. Even though I enjoyed my time at Southern Wesleyan, it was not the place for me any longer. So often we find ourselves in unhealthy places and do nothing. In the middle of last semester, I found myself in an extremely unhealthy place. I am not speaking of the physical environment in which I was located( however, Stu-B is not the healthiest atmosphere known to man), but this place in which I found myself was more of a state of being. I had become incredibly comfortable in every area of my life...this comfort had become a disease...a sickness that was draining my life of any purpose, passion, or direction. It amazes me how one gets to such a point of emptiness and desperation. It's not as if I woke up one morning and had changed so drastically overnight that I was unable to recognize the face staring back at me from my medicine cabinet. No, the process was slow and the changes subtle, but little by little I had become a different person. I was no longer sensitive...I had become calloused and walls were going up around me faster than in the suburban sprawl I now call my home. I had forsaken my passion of music and worship. I rarely(meaning never) spent an extended amount of time in prayer or even reflection. I had trapped myself in a prison made from a self-righteous facade.

So what do you do when you finally realize that you are living such a pitiful version of what your life is meant to be? Well, at first, you just put up more walls and pretend that everything is okay. You try to fill your life with activities and responsibilities to take up your time so that you don't even think about the mess that is your life. And in the quietness of your room when you are all alone late at night you mourn the loss of your dreams. At least that's what I did. You buy into the lies that are constantly whispered in your ear to give up, to continue in your misery. You are fooled to believe that you are worthless and that your failures will mark you for the rest of your life. You feel so far away from where you want to be that it seems hopeless. This is what I meant when I said that so often we find ourselves in unhealthy places and do nothing. We continue to feed ourselves all of the garbage and lies that have brought us here in the first place. I wonder how long a person can exist in such a place. I imagine some people never know freedom from this type of existence. Thankfully, I do.

I know this freedom now not because of anything that I have done. Leaving Southern did not give me freedom. A change in environment is often a tool that God uses when He guides us to freedom, but any changes we make are futile and meaningless if they are not in step with the Holy Spirit. How did I escape my own prison? I was broken. I was ruined. I allowed the Holy Spirit to convict me of my sin. I listened to the still, small voice that was calling me home.

The past weeks and months have been incredible times that I will remember for the rest of my life. The course of my life has changed. I am no longer on a path towards destruction, but toward life. I have been brought full-circle around to the calling and purpose that I was given to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. I am uncertain of what the next few years will hold for me, and that excites me beyond description. I am happy to be in this season. I am just beginning to know who I am and the many things that God wants me to learn while I am in this place.

I have so much more to tell about the specifics of what is going on in my life, but that will come later. For now, I encourage you to examine your life. Are you in an unhealthy place? Are you hopelessly rotting away in a self-created prison? Don't give up. There is hope. There is purpose. There is passion. He is waiting for you...calling out. Listen.

Questions of Identity

Over the past few months, I have undergone a challenging of much of my ideology. Not only have my religious beliefs, but also my political views been under investigation and evaluation. I have been reading a book titled In the Name of Identity that raises many questions about people's identities and why people think what they think. The book is written by an Arabic Christian who lives in France. In his book, he investigates many issues concerning Islam and Christianity, and the differences between Western and Arabic culture.

Here is an exerpt:

Wherever on the planet one happens to live, all modernization is now westernization. And this trend is merely accentuated and accelerated by technical progress. True, monuments and other great acievements bearing the imprint of other civilizations are to be seen everywhere. But everything that is newly created - buildings, institutions, aids to knowledge or improvements to life-styles - all is produced in the image of the West.

This reality is experienced differently by those born in the dominant civilization and those born outside it. The former can change, advance in life, adapt without ceasing to be themselves. One might even say that the more Westerners modernize themesleves the more completely in harmony they feel with their culture. Only those among them who reject modernity find themselves out of touch.

For the rest of the world's inhabitants, all those born in failed cultures, openness to change and modernity presents itself differently. For the Chinese, Africans, Japanese, Indians and American Indians, as for Greeks, Russians, Iranians, Arabs, Jews and Turks, modernization has constantly meant the abandoning of part of themselves. Even though it has sometimes been embraced with enthusiasm, it has never been adopted without a certain bitterness, without a feeling of humiliation and defection. Without a piercing doubt about the dangers of assimilation. Without a profound identity crisis.

More on this subject later.

I leave you with this question. What makes our culture better than any other culture?

A post worthy of random thoughts...

I went home this weekend to my parents and a chocolate lab that love me unconditionally. One of the things I love most about going home is always knowing that I will find acceptance, understanding, support, love, and concern. My parents have always encouraged me to become the best man that I can be, to follow my dreams and to love with passion. I am always inspired by their love for one another and their radical obedience to the Lord's calling on their lives.

I am incredibly blessed by my family and I take this forgranted too often. This weekend my dad said words to me that most children dream of hearing from their fathers yet never do. He said, "Brett, you are one of my best friends. I am so proud of who you are." Wow...love like that blows me away!

This week is homecoming here at SWU, which is an exciting, yet hectic time. I was nominated to be on the homecoming court this year, which is a great honor, especially as this is my last semester here. That's right, 45 days and counting! I'm really excited about this change and yet I am sad to leave some of my best friends that I have come to love over the past years.

Here are a few updates...

For those who don't know, I'm moving back to Richmond to attend Virginia Commonwealth University's school of Mass Communication. Also, I'm going to start writing for an american-owned magizine published in France.

I'll leave you with this quote that I read this weekend:

"The power of beauty is as absurd as it is undeniable."

Leave your thoughts...may they be as random as mine have been!

This One's For You, Candice!

So, clearly its been quite a while since my last post. For some reason I haven't been very inspired to blog this semester....maybe it has to do with my resident blog nagger moving away! Anyway, it has been an eventful several weeks.

During my fall break a few weeks ago I drove out to Texas to visit my brother and his fiance'. I had a really good time just relaxing and being lazy; however, I will never drive that far by myself again! Since break, I have barely managed to keep my head above water with school work and various extra-curricular activities. Homecoming is next week and I have several responsibilities because I am my class president and I am on the Homecoming Committee. I am going home this weekend though, so hopefully I'll be able to re-energize!

This past weekend, I went out with some friends to see the new movie, Elizabethtown. I really liked it. The film is written and directed by Cameron Crowe, the same guy who did Almost Famous and Jerry Maguire. The story was one of redemption and discovering identity. The main character, played by Orlando Bloom, was a young businessman who faces a failure of great magnitude but is unable to focus on this because his father dies. On the way to his father's home, he meets Claire, played by Kirsten Dunst (a major hottie...by the way!). Claire challenges Orlando Bloom's character to greatness.

I could see so much of myself in the main character. So often I feel like a failure and it takes reminding sometimes to remember where my focus should be. One line from the movie particularly stands out to me, "I've been asleep my whole life". Wow! What a wake-up call. When we focus on trivial difficulties or others' opinions, we are actually alseep to what life is really about. We were meant for greatness. In order to acheive greatness one must first accept his failures.

So, no promises, but I am going to attempt to update this more often. Especially since I will be transferring in less than 2 months...hopefully this will be a means for people to keep up with me.

Recent albums of note:
The Trip by Snow Patrol
Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung
Daniel Powter

Confessions of a Blogger Failure

If anyone should hold the title of a blogger failure, that person is me. I am certain that no one will even read this, as most of my friends have given up hope that I would return to the blogger world. Well, I am back....and here to stay (at least that's the plan).

As can be imagined, much has transpired since my last post. In fact, too much to try and catch up. I will give a brief summary of the past few days, weeks, months (however long it has been).

I am currently in the middle of the 5th week of my Junior year...that's kind of hard to believe. Overall, my semester has been rather uneventful thus far. I've been incredibly busy, and am beginning to wonder if I have spread myself too thin this semester. I am already beginning to be excited about Fall Break, which is only 2 weeks away! Classes are going well - some have been a little disappointing, but I'm holding out hope for improvement. I am in the freshman dorm as an RA again this year, which has its ups and downs. I have made several new friendships and am continuing to enjoy old ones. I am sad that my boss/friend, Candice, is leaving us at the end of this week. She is irreplaceable.

Spiritually, the past few weeks have provided a lot of challenge and opportunities for growth. Some I have taken, others I haven't. I am constantly amazed at how many opportunities God puts in front of my face that I blatantly ignore. If only I would listen and obey more consistently. A lot of my views and ideas concerning Christianity are being challenged, and I am truly desiring to understand my role in the big picture. I don't know if we are ever truly able to comprehend this. I think maybe we're not supposed to fully grasp everything and learn to trust more. Isn't that what faith is all about?

Tonight I met my brother's fiance, Jana, for dinner in Greenville. I always come away from spending time with her with a smile on my face and such a larger view of the world. She challenges the way I think. We spent several hours together eating, walking, drinking coffee, and talking and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment. We talked about our lives - where we are and what we're dealing with. We talked a lot about God, as he is central to both of these themes. Sidenote: If you haven't read Blue Like Jazz, you need to!

Some things that I came away with from this evening are that I need to be more transparent, allowing myself to be vulnerable to other people, and that I need to broaden my world view.

Sometimes I think that I (along with the majority of the church) am missing the big picture of Christianity. I will leave you with this quote from Blue Like Jazz,

"Too much of our time is spent trying to chart God on a grid, and too little is spent allowing our hearts to feel awe. By reducing Christian spirituality to formula, we deprive our hearts of wonder."

Coming tomorrow: Review of the movie Crash and the band Aqualung.