Sunday, January 23, 2005

Me and my best friend Jenn at a youth group party at home over christmas break.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

"No Time To Blog"

This week has been crazy. I've had no time to think, let alone blog this week. I just wanted to let everyone know that the "Phantom of the Opera" movie releases nationally must go see it. It truly was one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. By the way, I'm in love with Emmy Rossum who plays Christine, the main character in "Phantom". She's definitely a she can sing, which really does it for me!

Friday, January 14, 2005

"Pursuit of Love"

I've always heard girls say how they desire to be pursued by a guy. I never really understood this whole idea of pursuit until this week. I've really felt this week that God has been passionately pursuing me...He won't give up or back down. I feel as though I can't escape God, He's everywhere around me. I can hear his voice in the simplicity of my everyday routine, calling me to something more, something greater.

What is this "something"? I don't know exactly. It may not even be anything specific, but I am confident that God is desiring me to become more and more like Him every single day. That's my desire too. I desire His patience. I desire His strength. I desire His compassion. I desire His heart for the lost. I desire His love. I desire His joy. I desire His endurance. I desire His creativity. I desire HIM!

So I've given in. I've stopped fighting against Your pursuit. You win God. Your prize is my heart, my life. I give you control...I am yours. I trust you. Hold me in your arms and let the strength of Your embrace breathe strength to my life. You are my Strong Tower, my place of You alone do I place my hope!

Monday, January 03, 2005

"Not So Quiet Desperation"

"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation."

This statement from Walden, by Henry David Thoreau has been used for ages to describe the majority of people, who Thoreau seems to believe are somehow missing out on their purpose and living such pitiful, second rate versions of their intended life. This idea of "quiet desperation" is one with which I think most people, and assuredly most Christians are all to familiar. We tend to live our lives day to day with a sense of dissatisfaction that we have termed desperation. This fall, the hit show "Desperate Housewives" has drawn more attention than any show in recent years...Why? Because at the heart of every human, we are able to make meaningful connections with feelings of desperation, feelings of loss, need, and desire. When it comes down to it, I would have to say that Thoreau was right on when he described the "mass of men" in such a way.

However, this cliche' statement has derived several negative connotations throughout the years. We see so many men (and women) leading these desperate lives and we are compelled to feel pity for them. They've missed out on their lot in life, they're not satisfied, they've lost sight of their almost brings a tear to my eye as I write...not! When did desperation become such a bad thing? Even though millions of viewers have tuned into ABC on Sunday nights to watch the women of Wisteria live out their desperate housewife lives, and however attractive this make-believe lifestyle of glam, glitz and sex is, I cannot truly believe that our culture is one which promotes desperation. In fact, the American culture stands in complete contrast to a lifestyle of desperation, we know nothing of the sort. We kill ourselves 40 plus hours a week in order to bring in the big bucks...After all, we must look out for "number one". It is essential to our survival to drive a fancy SUV, drink designer coffee, wear designer jeans, and live in a house so large that we must buy even more stuff to fill it up.

As Americans, we have been taught since birth to place an extremely high value on independence and self-sufficiency. We spend countless amounts of time and money striving for a freedom that has become so very tainted. In the context of our culture, the word desperation brings forth thoughts of homelessness, poverty, and other undesirable situations...all negative. I would suggest that only when we become truly desperate will we ever discover profound freedom. This desperation is not for money, or other material things or even a sense of satisfaction, but rather a desperation for a deeper connection with the creator of the universe. The American church, as a majority, is far from leading lives of desperation...of any kind. In fact it is becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish the church from the world. We should be craving more. However, I think Thoreau's statement is true in describing the American church today. The mass of [American Christians] lead lives of quiet desperation. Our desperation is so quiet that too often we don't even realize that we are desperate, hungry and unsatisfied. We are filling ourselves with the junk food of our culture and are becoming blind to its effects.

It is my aim to live a life that screams desperation. With every breath that I take, may I realize that I need God more than the very air that fills my lungs. Only He can satisfy. Only He can bring freedom. The time is now. God is calling out and desiring to raise up a generation of Desperate housewives, and students, and lawyers, and musicians. May our desperation be not like that of Henry Thoreau, but may our desperation be loud, visible and contagious.