Confessions of a Blogger Failure

If anyone should hold the title of a blogger failure, that person is me. I am certain that no one will even read this, as most of my friends have given up hope that I would return to the blogger world. Well, I am back....and here to stay (at least that's the plan).

As can be imagined, much has transpired since my last post. In fact, too much to try and catch up. I will give a brief summary of the past few days, weeks, months (however long it has been).

I am currently in the middle of the 5th week of my Junior year...that's kind of hard to believe. Overall, my semester has been rather uneventful thus far. I've been incredibly busy, and am beginning to wonder if I have spread myself too thin this semester. I am already beginning to be excited about Fall Break, which is only 2 weeks away! Classes are going well - some have been a little disappointing, but I'm holding out hope for improvement. I am in the freshman dorm as an RA again this year, which has its ups and downs. I have made several new friendships and am continuing to enjoy old ones. I am sad that my boss/friend, Candice, is leaving us at the end of this week. She is irreplaceable.

Spiritually, the past few weeks have provided a lot of challenge and opportunities for growth. Some I have taken, others I haven't. I am constantly amazed at how many opportunities God puts in front of my face that I blatantly ignore. If only I would listen and obey more consistently. A lot of my views and ideas concerning Christianity are being challenged, and I am truly desiring to understand my role in the big picture. I don't know if we are ever truly able to comprehend this. I think maybe we're not supposed to fully grasp everything and learn to trust more. Isn't that what faith is all about?

Tonight I met my brother's fiance, Jana, for dinner in Greenville. I always come away from spending time with her with a smile on my face and such a larger view of the world. She challenges the way I think. We spent several hours together eating, walking, drinking coffee, and talking and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment. We talked about our lives - where we are and what we're dealing with. We talked a lot about God, as he is central to both of these themes. Sidenote: If you haven't read Blue Like Jazz, you need to!

Some things that I came away with from this evening are that I need to be more transparent, allowing myself to be vulnerable to other people, and that I need to broaden my world view.

Sometimes I think that I (along with the majority of the church) am missing the big picture of Christianity. I will leave you with this quote from Blue Like Jazz,

"Too much of our time is spent trying to chart God on a grid, and too little is spent allowing our hearts to feel awe. By reducing Christian spirituality to formula, we deprive our hearts of wonder."

Coming tomorrow: Review of the movie Crash and the band Aqualung.