Transitions

Before my friend Jennifer moved to South Carolina earlier this summer, we made a sort of "demo" CD together of a few songs that we had written, I still haven't heard the CD, and it was meant just as a keepsake because Jenn has been my "singing buddy" since my junior year of high school. She and I have shared lots of fun times working out harmonies, sharing special music, and leading worship together.

Today was the first Sunday of having a new vocalist singing with the band since going through a major transition the past few months. Not only did Jennifer move away, but two other vocalists have stepped down, one several months ago, and one very recently ( who was also our keyboard player!). It has been a major challenge as I have had to really emerge myself into the leadership of the band, which, to be completely honest, is not where I feel most comfortable. For the past several weeks, I have been the only vocalist and also playing either guitar or keyboard during the sets....way out of my comfort zone. I was telling Jes the other day, that I would feel most comfortable being in the background, singing harmony with none of the added responsibility of leadership. But God is not in the business of keeping us where we are most comfortable.

This has all been such a learning experience. I have learned that I rely too much on my own ability and strength. I have learned that God IS faithful and will supply ALL of my needs. I have learned what it means to trust...even when it looks impossible and I am overwhelmed by the situation. I have learned that I am my own biggest distraction. I have had to look and listen past my faults and realize that HE is worthy of my worship NO MATTER WHAT!

Today was one of the first times in a while that I have been able to enter into worship myself during a service. I felt like God was pleased with my worship even though I felt so inadequate and unworthy to be leading worship. It definitely helped having another worshipper standing next to me.

Here are the lyrics to one of the songs that Jenn and I recorded. The Lord constantly uses these words to convict me and draw me closer. Allow the Lord to speak to your heart today. I know I desperately need to hear His voice.

"I Repent"

I repent, I repent
I turn and walk away from all I knew before
I repent, I repent
I'm feeling like a little child once again

You open my eyes to all my sin
You know all my faults, still you call me Your friend
You are all I'll ever need
Only in You am I complete

Set my heart on You
Jesus, set my heart on You