"Dry and Weary Land"

Well, it's been a while...I have been on fall break away from all the comforts of my SWU home, stuck in The Middle Of Nowhere, TX for a week. The original plan, months ago, was for me to walk down that "lonesome road" and take a road trip...by myself...to visit my brother in TX. This turned into a long, and somewhat boring family vacation including the parents and even the grandparents. Now I'm not saying that I'm not thankful for a week with no classes...trust me...I am, it's just that it was very different trying to fit into this "family" mold after almost a year and a half of living away from home. It's crazy because I've always felt like I had an incredible relationship with my parents, and I really believe that I do...for goodness sake, I tell my parents everything, it's just a hard transition I guess. But I guess that's what life is all about...change. Change is so hard, but as I look back on my life, I am so thankful for the changes and growth that the Lord has brought about in my life. He has taken my useless, no-good, ruined life and made it into something with purpose, passion, desire, love, joy, trust (that's a biggie!), and so many more wonderful things. I was listening to one of my favorite worship songs earlier that one of my friends wrote and was moved in a way that I haven't been for a while. The lyrics come straight from scripture:

"Oh God, You are my God. Earnestly I seek you. My soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you in a dry and weary land where there is no water...because Your love is better than life my lips will glority You. I will praise you as long as I live, and in Your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods, with singing lips my mouth will praise You." (Psalm 63)

Do you ever feel like you're living in a dry and weary land? Many times I feel so dry, so empty. It's like I get stuck in this "desert" and I almost forget what I'm living for. Sometimes I am fooled by a mirage that looks like the "real deal", but I just end up disappointed. I think that God allows us to be in such a position of desperation so that we will truly realize our helpless estate, and humble ourselves and truly SEEK HIS FACE with all that we are and all that we have. That's kinda where I've been the past few days. It's only when we realize that His love is better than life itself that we are truly able to start living. I want to fall in love once again with the One who first loved me; not because of who I am, but in spite of who I am!